Tuesday, December 25, 2007


i remember his mouth
pushing air across the contour
of his lips, except no sound was
coming out as everything else
gave in. i remember the cold

sitting up in the hospital bed
and how that giant white-rolled
paper felt, the kind they'd let
you draw on as a kid. and if i had

some crayons i might graffiti it. a nice
house, some trees, the sun wearing
sunglasses...how i envy him. i wish
someone could have drawn a way

to protect me from myself. so many
words have no meaning. they don't
stand up or carry weight but hide rather
in a sentence. they need their friends

for relevance. though some words
stand alone. like a naked man
on the street, they stick out. and

what an awful face it takes to pronounce
the letter "C". squinting your eyes almost growling
while showing half your teeth. and
the tongue disappearing before it starts
flirting with the "N's" sound, humble
not quiet it lives towards
the roof of the mouth. and "R"
is simply all throat with a quick in and out

and your left staring at an ansel adam's

wondering why in god's name haven't you
been to that place yet?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


the neon above my head
flickers in its unnatural rhythm: millerlite.
millerlite. millerlite. miller. they don't
even serve it here anymore but hangs

still. like an old family portrait with
the soft blue background, sweater vests, and sunday bests. each face adorned
with the most perfect smile one could muster
at a Kmart after church. long since
divorced parents hands
resting on their children's shoulders who might be

old enough to drink here by now. and billy
who once loved baseball is leather clad
in the corner. brandishing nose rings, and
skull tattoos, a chain clinging to his wallet.

maybe that's julia, the oldest, leaning over
to ignite on a match held calmly by a man
who won't respect her in the morning.

and that incessant buzzing hums on as
a reminder. what's here today will
be gone tomorrow. that history might
as well be hanging from the walls
of every dive bar in america. a shrine

to things never working out as planned.
and with every sip the buzz gets louder.
drinking to forget in the first place.