Friday, July 07, 2006

MAD SCIENTISTS

...maybe we're all mad scientists, trying to frankenstein some kind of beauty out of the people that we've loved. michele's eyes with erin's comfort...jessie's heart with monica's brain wrapped in a big red bow made of kate and heather's personalities. but it's the combination we're truly after...until we finally learn that the combination is really only long term compatibility...compatibility which is really comfort itself. i wonder sometimes if getting married is 'giving up'...as if somehow we started lamenting the game we have all played for far too long. someone asked me recently if "being with (her) was giving up." and my brain burst into flame. not because she'd asked the question...but because giving up is the greatest complement you could ever give a lover. perhaps that's why they call it "settling down."…because of course you’re settling…causing the ego to fall in only one direction. almost as if the endless field you've been frolicking through, at last gives permission to stop smelling it's flowers. and just to lie down for once...to take in the world with someone wonderful on your arm. a partner in a crime you haven't committed...but who would run at the same speed, pace, and vigor from the police that could for once, set your heart at ease. all i've ever wanted was a witness to my life. someone who could see me for who i am without the desire to comment towards the negative. i think i'd say "yes" to any and all of them if they dropped down to a knee, with one eye over my shoulder, wondering if any of the rest where watching me. if it only weren't for the women who i haven't met...who constanly fall short when i do.

1 comment:

HAH said...

he's going to ask me to marry him. my life just flashes before my eyes, I can't stop being mean to him. I love my little boy so much