PEE-PEE

...female dog piss kills grass, where as male dog piss does not. it's an unknown fact in many dog loving circles. and what people don't know about dog piss could destroy a pristine lawn in a single season. i'm not sure why folks don't research dog piss more often...it's a mystery. their was a time when you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting someone reading up on the subject. i mean personally, i was just at borders the other day looking for a new book on animal wizz (my old one being out of date). i replaced Guldman's "guide to golden doggie showers." with the much more p.c. work "dog piss, drool, dingleberries, and you." by the now famous Dr. Sarah Beechrum. i do love bookshopping so very dearly though...so that part was good. not that i can read...but their's just something fun about scanning through the poetry section for hours on end, scamming on potential smart chicks. but then something occured to me...and i stopped doing it all together. what if these people are just doing the same thing as i am? faking literacy for the chance at meeting someone special. i mean if i do it...why wouldn't someone else? i think stupid people are underestimated in our society. just because i'm retarded...it doesn't mean that i want to go out with someone retarded. i know that we should all stick to our own kind and that theirs some beautiful downed misstress out there just waiting for me to swoop her off her feet (which wouldn't be hard if she has trouble walking anyway). but i refuse to settle. it's 2006 people...and i'll spred my retardation wherever i damn well please. i'm going to hell aren't i? at least they'll be people there that can make me laugh. as a side note: i honestly have no idea what's gotten into me as of late...but i find myself to be very, very funny.