i work a double on wednesdays and have for quite some time now. when i finally get home after my 22 hour day filled with lifting rocks in the sun, digging holes in the dirt, and socially lubricating the drunks at the bar...i always get to look forward to the best part of my week. i take off my shoes and go to the bathroom, freshen up, and brush my teeth. then glance in the mirror while quietly shrugging before shutting off the light. it's the 7 long seconds I spend in front of my bedroom door that have kept me sane this past year or so. my heart fills up in that time with the kind of warmth that you can only get from hope...the kind of hope that only comes from love. I breathe in long and slow as i turn the doorknob and crack the door with my other hand being sure not to make a sound. closing my eyes i take a long step inside while gently breathing out. it's the time right before i open my eyes that always makes me smile. the short moments before i realize that she isn't there anymore that seems to keep me going. and week after week i make it my routine. not because i have delusions of grandeur or because i have trouble letting go. but rather because those 7 seconds are mine and no one else’s...and because for a short time i get to be in love again. and no body can take that from me or even offer up something better. unless of course, the day arrives, that i find her sleeping in my bed.