Monday, March 13, 2006


another's raining...pretty hard too. and i kind of like it. i'm gearing up to go to work. to serve the masses that social lubricant we call alcohol. i'm not really sure if i love my job or hate it with all my heart. maybe neither...maybe bolth (i spell both with an "L" for those of you who don't know). i love watching i guess. seeing how they act around each other...wishing i was good at doing the same. it makes it easier though, being behind that bar. i kind of equate it to photographers who are usually very shy, reclusive people. the bar acts in the same way as that lens does...kind of a barrier that removes you from the reality of being in a situation. i sit behind that bar and talk and joke like i'm one of the gang. but i find the most just serving people and listening. hear guys try pick-up girls, see the girls look right through it. it's a game we all play but strange few of us grow gracful in. once in a while you'll see true interest in another person. and it's quite charming actually. to see the attraction in the air, smell the farmones, hear the sincerity in someones voice when the ask "so, what are you into?" it always makes smile...and then like clockwork end up longing for it myself. i can bullshit with the best of them...but when it comes to actually talking i always end up mumbling or coming across as a idiot. which i guess i am in the long run. maybe i'm just waiting for the day that someone finds that charming. anyone out there like idiotic, mumbling, jerk-heads? let me know...i'm the best you'll ever find.

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